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I Am Not Ok
This is a post about the TV show/book series His Dark Materials. Mostly about the TV show at the moment, all things considered.
I just finished watching the finale, and I am a fucking mess. A complete, fucking mess.
I usually don’t cry over much. I read the books, and I knew that everything was going to happen. The daemon separation, the Land of The Dead, Mary Malone and the mulefa, Lyra and Will’s kisses, Baruch and Balthamos, everything.
All of it. I told myself it was going to be emotional, I told myself they would ruin me, and they did. Every detail from the bench itself and the positioning, to Will opening the window and breaking the knife, reflecting on Lyra and taking snippets from the past episodes, having Marisa and Asriel die for the sake of their daughter, all their motives surmounting to such a thing.
Asriel deserved to die. Marisa didn’t, in my eyes. The show creators had spent their time, very well-spent time building up each individual character, Marisa as my specific example right now. She was manipulative and heartless within the first season, powerful and controlling in the second, and understanding in the third. She understood her weakness, her downfall. The suppressed love of her daughter. She wallowed and grieved over it, and yet she still used her powers for good.
Now to talk about the goodness of such an adaptation. Yes, there were variations from the books, in particular, Jopari/John Parry’s death in Season 2. I was distraught at the time. How could they take Lee’s death, word for word, emotion for emotion from the books, and mess up John Parry’s so much?! I believe that this was for plot’s sake, and the audience’s sake. Those who read the books would be bitter (myself), and those who hadn’t would likely be confused by a sudden story of unrequited love between John Parry the shaman and a witch. But they made up for it, big time. The creators took the symbolism of the bench to bittersweet, valuable and heart wrenching extremes. They took the symbolism of glances and subtle touch to build into the most romantic swell on TV that I’ve ever watched. They took the themes of storytelling, power, religion, love, and enhanced them all within this high fantasy world, cultivating different dynamics, making each element of the story worth it in its own way.
And a thought occurred. Will is the Knife Bearer. Knife. Bearer. With a show based around books that involved a central theme of Adam and Eve and religion, the knife acts as a burden, a cross he must bear, per se, because Will and Lyra will forever be together. Their love changed the present, but they alone cannot change the past. He bore the power of the knife, passed every test, and broke it by the end, once and for all. A loss of power. A loss of the overwhelming grief and burden of thinking of Lyra, desperate not to fall back into temptation and cutting a window again...
Everything about this show has moved me, changed me for the better.
So, thank you His Dark Materials. Thank you for being an ongoing fantasy, a relevant, moving story, with a wonderful adaptation that will live on.
“Tell them stories,” Lyra said to the ghosts of the Land of The Dead.
“Tell them stories,” Atal told Mary, unaware of her status as the serpent.
The story has been, and will continue to be told. Forever, I’d like to hope.
#HDM#hdm spoilers#his dark materials spoilers#season 3#rant#/pos#his dark materials#long post#the longest one i've ever made#it's basically an essay at this point#somebody help#and feel free to add onto this#i need more friends who are into HDM
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Penelope is also Athena's pet/blorbo/special little mortal/etc. and if you think otherwise you're straight up wrong.
You're also wrong if you think Athena only likes Penelope because of Odysseus and/or Telemachus. As if Athena didn't see a young Penelope pull some shit and immediately think "Oh! Another mind to mold! C'mere you! Let's do some riddles and weaving!". Athena was happy that two of her favorite pets have met and fell in love!
#maybe even Athena introduced them! idk#I mean c'mon. Pen is KNOWN for her weaving AND her Cunning and she basically knew that was Odysseus that was in disguise#Athena had to make Penelope go to sleep because she was sad AND she would've figured shit out.#Idc who Athena favored first but Athena definitely favored Penelope even before she was married. I will die/kill on that hill#everytime I see someone minimize/erase/devalue/etc. Penelope I want to bash my head against the wall.#*bangs pots and pans together in rage*#I think some of you only like Penelope because Odysseus likes her :') not all but... enough that it makes me sad.#like I've noticed some people only like my odysseus posts and not my Penelope ones. and oof. ;~; that tells me a lot😞#like yes. she's a bit of an enigma...AND THAT'S THE POINT. She's so intelligent that she's tricking the narrator/audience AND Odysseus!#Mad rambles#penelope#penelope of ithaca#penelope odyssey#penelope of sparta#Water Wife#odyssey#the odyssey#greek mythology#tagamemnon#athena#epic the musical#shot by odysseus#essay
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Guide to boops
At the top of your dash, there should be a boop-o-meter. If it's not there, try refreshing the page or updating the app.
Under the boop-o-meter, there's a start option and an opt-out option. Click start to activate your boops! This will make it possible for you to both give and receive boops. Opting out will remove the boop-o-meter image for you, but leave a link in case you change your mind (thanks @ blueberrybananasmoothie!)
The option to opt-out remains even after you click start
You can boop people by: clicking the "Boop" next to their username on posts, clicking the paw button on their blog, or clicking "Boop back"/"Revenge" in your activity feed
You can boop yourself too!
The boop-o-meter will keep track of how many boops you've sent and received. It only has room for three digits in each category, so once you reach a thousand, it will say 3-letter words like LOL and WOW. The word will change as the number gets higher. The highest it goes is the point where it says TUM/BLR
The boop-o-meter also changes color as the number increases enough. In the original April Fool's version, the number of pixel cats increased as well.
To earn the badges: For Boopster (white paw), you just need to send one boop. For Bountiful Booper (orange paw), you need to send 314 boops. For Booper Breaker (black paw), you need to send 1000 boops. Boops you receive do not affect the badges.
Click normally to send a normal boop. If on desktop, hover over or hold the paw button on someone's blog until it flashes then returns to normal to send them a super boop, and until it's flashed at least three times for an evil boop. If on mobile, it will spin instead of flashing, and only needs to spin twice for an evil boop.
The Halloween version also includes bOooOoOOOoOooos. You can send a bOooOoOOOoOooo if you spam boop the same person at least 10 times in a row without doing anything else in between (thanks @ merry-death!). The sender is not notified that they sent a bOooOoOOOoOooo, but it appears in the recipient's activity feed.
Boops appear in the recipient's activity feed, and are highlighted different colors depending on the type of boop. Normal boops will stack in activity. Evil boops may stack if you get enough in a short enough time period but they usually don't stack, and I've never seen super boops or bOooOoOOOoOooos stack (but I can't say for sure that they won't under the right conditions).
Sideblogs cannot send boops (and thus cannot earn the badges). Sideblogs can receive boops if they are not shared sideblogs, and the account's main blog has activated the boop-o-meter.
On desktop, you can click the little pixel cat on your boop-o-meter to boop the cat. The cat will then boop you back.
On mobile, you can tap the paw that appears when you boop someone to high-five the cat. This seems to be a mobile-only feature (at least for now). After high-fiving, you'll be presented with the option to boop the cat.
Paw colors are assigned by blog. You can see which color paw a blog gets by looking at the boop button on their blog. Others will see your assigned color when booping you, and you'll see theirs when booping them. Your paw color doesn't change.
The boop-o-meter is only available for one day, then it will disappear until the next occasion tumblr brings it back for (if it's brought back again)!
Disclaimer: I'm basing this guide off of a combination of current experiences (on Halloween 2024), what happened the first time on April 1st, and what I've heard from others, so it's possible there are some errors, outdated information, or yet undiscovered features!
Happy booping! 🐾
#Updated to include bOooOoOOOoOooos + better stacking information + clarification on how to super/evil boop#boop#boops#boop o meter#tumblr boops#halloween boops#guide#tumblr guide#information#boop guide#boop info#about boops#Tried to provide plenty of information without turning it into a literal essay#we can pretend separating it into bullet points mitigates the length#at least the bolding should help people pick out the most important basics
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As a music, religion, and literature nerd, the Dies Irae has been one of my favorite go-to pieces of trivia for a long time, which means that this line:
Has been driving me batshit BONKERS since part 42! And also as a semi-professional media analysis yapper, I figured I might as well dive into the exact reasons I jumped up and audibly gasped upon first hearing this line and have subsequently lost my mind since then. So!
Here is why I think that the Dies Irae is the perfect analogy for John and Arthur:
Religion
Let's start with the most straightforward meaning: "Dies Irae" is a Latin term, and it translates to the "Day of Wrath." Or otherwise known as the Judgement Day, the foretold second coming in Catholic canon, when Christ will "come again in glory to judge the living and the dead." It's at this Last Judgement where God will wield perfect justice to send the worthy to everlasting peace and the unworthy to everlasting punishment. (everyone say "thank you" to excessive childhood Catholic lessons for burning this into my brain)
There's a kind of irony to the fact that Arthur so vehemently rejects Christianity and religion as a whole, and that John spends much of his arc trying to distance himself from the role/identity of a god, yet both are given this incredibly religious title, effectively restricting them from ever forgetting the presence/influence of religion in their lives.
This title has a couple layers though, because we have to consider why it's the Day of Wrath specifically that represents Arthur and John. Now, I don't think I have to tell you that those two are bursting with anger 80% of the time. But I am going to tell you that those two are not just angry, but moreso "divine fury" incarnate.
The Day of Wrath, the Final Judgment, is the final and eternal judgment of God on all: "For now before the Judge severe / all hidden things must plain appear; / no crime can pass unpunished here." (Dies Irae, Dies Illa). The final Judge, the all-powerful God, can see the objective morality of every single person, and is thus the sole, rightful determiner of fate.
This assumption of their right to perfectly and single-handedly decide others' worthiness shows up over and over, not just John and Arthur's actions, but also in how they describe these judgments.
When Arthur kills the widow on the island, it's not because she was dangerous, but because she was a cultist who "deserved" to be punished.
When John and Arthur need to get rid of Mr. Scratch's stone, John says they should give it to "criminals" who are "deserving of this curse." Even though, just moments before, Arthur refused to give the stone to Oscar because to do so would be to cursing him to a fate of eternal suffering.
And I can't go into every single detail about the entire Larson plotline because this post would double in size, but it obviously needs to be included here. Possibly the strongest tie between this arc and the idea of the Dies Irae is Arthur's conviction through it all. Arthur vows that he is going to kill Larson in divine retribution not because he wants to, but because he has to. He even goes so far as to admit that killing Larson will be a mistake, a cruel and overly-bloodthirsty action that goes against his compassion. But killing Larson isn't a choice to Arthur, it is the unavoidable punishment for Larson's sins and Arthur is simply the enactor of justice. Just like the Final Judgment, there is no sympathy, no hesitancy— the judgment is absolute, divinely ordained, and cannot be stopped no matter how undeniably horrific it is.
If we look at the Catholic Catechism, principle 2302 states that it is sinful to kill out of desire, but that it is "praiseworthy to impose restitution" and use violence to "maintain justic." So even if Arthur has intent to kill, his actions count as divinely sanctioned. He is acting as the hand of God's punishment.
Over the course of Season 3 and 4, Arthur's fiery rage dies down to a more gentle simmer, but his conviction only seems to grow, and John follows suit. Despite previously reprimanding Arthur for his unquestioning wrath, John eventually becomes just as convinced that Larson "deserves" to face a wrathful reckoning. The "fact" that Larson is wholly unforgivable and is fated to receive eternal punishment becomes more indisputable in their minds, and they both stop questioning the morality of their intentions, entirely convinced of their judgment.
Throughout the story, Arthur and John insist upon the importance of kindness, compassion, and forgiveness, and say that these are the values that guide their every action. Yet, time and time again, they approach certain people with nothing but wrath and resentment. It's a sharp contrast to the benevolent figures they make themselves out to be, and Arthur and John are often blind to the contradiction because, in their eyes, they are still following those values in every action. And in the moments when they do recognize their horrific words or actions, they still cannot let their judgment go, convinced that it is their "duty" either way.
In Part 35, Arthur says "Just because you can't make the hard decision, doesn't mean it's wrong." This is exactly how John and Arthur view themselves. They know that some of their actions are harsh and violent and painful, but they are don't view that violence as wrong, because they are enacting that violence in justice. They move through life with carefully-selected destruction, culling the world of those they view as unforgivable sinners, and punishing them with divine righteousness. Arthur and John carry righteous fury in their every step, bringing the Day of Wrath down upon the world around them.
Now, there's already a ton of meaning just in this religious allusion alone. However, there's another application of the Dies Irae in modern culture, which brings us to the second side of this title:
Music
Back in the 13th century (sounds like a familiar setting...), friar Thomas of Celano wrote a poem for and about the Dies Irae. The poem was recited at Requiem Mass (church services to honor the dead), and it ended up being set to a Gregorian chant tune.
Over time, this melody has been used by a variety of composers, but the one we're focused on is Hector Berlioz. In 1837, Berlioz used the Dies Irae melody as part of his narrative symphony, Grand Messe de morts, in order to communicate that the main character had died. Then a lot of other composers saw that and said "Hey that's a cool idea!", and started also using this melody to represent death in their music. Nowadays, it's a fairly staple part of modern film and musical storytelling. If you've listened to literally any major soundtrack, then there's a good chance you've heard this motif (or a variation of it) used before. It's often subtle, sometimes loud and obvious, but no matter what, it reveals the inevitable presence of death. (essentially, the Dies Irae=death)
Now, obviously there's something tragically ironic about Arthur being likened to a musical motif when he tries so hard to distance himself from it, and there's something tragically ironic about John being associated with such a dark piece of music when he shows so much fascination and joy toward the art. Again, though, we've got some layers here. Yorick doesn't just compare Arthur and John to the Dies Irae, he literally defines them as the Dies Irae, a full embodiment of it.
Even before the story started, Arthur lost both of his parents, his friend and wife, his daughter, and his best friend.
John, when he was part of the King in Yellow, knew only how to harm and attack. In the Dark World, he falls back on this fearful lashing out with violence, harming even more people.
And throughout the story, John and Arthur seem to bring devastation to everyone else around them: Lilly the buopoth, Oscar, Noel, Collins, Daniel, Larson and Yellow.
The arrival of Dies Irae musical motif in a film always indicates that death is approaching or that is has already struck— a host carrying its blight to spread onto others. Just like the musical motif, the arrival of Arthur and John foretells the near-arrival of death. They play a duet together— John and Arthur, and death— always singing and dancing around and with each other.
These two never succumb to death, always finding a way to slip through its fingers and survive every situation. But they cannot escape death's presence because they are death's partner— singing the melody to death's subtle harmony. They cannot escape death because they are its host— destined to carry and spread devastation to death's victims. From the moment you meet John and Arthur, you know that death is inevitably approaching just a step behind, waiting to strike you down.
Whether it's the religious or musical side, we can see that John and Arthur are the literal embodiment of these allusions. They carry these powers and ideas in their every action and word, in their every step, in their very breath and blood.
Arthur and John. The hands of God's justice. The enactors of divine fury.
Arthur and John. The hosts of blight and destruction. The partner of death's song.
The man himself. The voice inside his head.
The Day of Wrath. The Dies Irae.
#this is late. like. really late#and canon is clearly lining up for an actual plot point related to this title#but ignore that!#and just think about the themes guys. the allusions. the symbolismmmm#(humor me here)#also i am. so sorry. for basically posting an entire informal essay#that appeals specifically to just me. and maybe two other people in the whole world#but the worms in my brain demanded that i yap about this#malevolent#malevolent podcast#malevolent analysis#malevolent meta#dies irae#arthur lester#john doe#cherrys rambles
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KEEP THE DANGER OUT // KEEP THE DANGER IN
#billie bust up#bbu billie#bbu fantoccio#robin’s art#2024 art#COMPANION PIECES BABY!!! started these last year (month) and finally finished em!!! :33#i could write an ENTIRE essay abt billie and fanto and their parallels and stuff#which actually i love tumblr tags. lets do some of that here!#okAY IM NOT GONNA GO INTO EVERYTHING BUT HERES A BASIC RUNDOWN OF SOME OF MY THOUGHTS#let’s start by looking at goatshire + the lost city of magic !!#both places have some kind of border around them keeping SOMETHING in/out#goatshire’s wall keeping the trolls/other danger out; keeping the villagers inside safe#and the city’s barrier keeping the curse inside; while keeping everyone outside safe from it#but in turn it’s also keeping billie and fanto trapped in their respective places#one moreso than the other i guess but ahahaha. haha. heh. OKAY MOVING FORTH#unrelated but how sick would it be if the barrier broke and let the curse out. just sayiiin.. a lil theory thats been on my mind recently#anyways back to THE POINT#okay this parts gonna sound insane BUT JUST HEAR ME OUT HERE#goatshire citizens / the cursed city citizens.#billie and fanto both kinda stick out in their respecitve homes; fanto being the only uncursed guy and billie with their magic#so theres like. a real disconnect between them and others there. u get what i mean.#theyre both outliers and like something something allegory for neurodivergence and struggling to connect with others probably#SORRY GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF. idk how to explain it BUT DO U GET IT!!! DO U UNDERSTAND!!!!#also they were both abandoned by SOMEone stares at arthur#okay specifically whoever fanto’s cretaor was left him behind but u know me im such a fanto elmtwig jak#something something loneliness and being left behind and having ppl around you who kinds understand u but also not totally. kicks rock#someone get these siblings some THERAPY!!!!!!!#this was a very disjointed explanation bUT HOPEFULLY I GOT MOST OF MY THOUGHTS ACROSS GOOD. IM BAD AT EXPLAINING THINGS SORRY#someone order me a yappuccino!!!!! BYE!!!!
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something that always gets me about louis is that he is so soft and sensitive at heart. he cries at operas, he dances with his family, he gives his sister expensive gifts, he loves to wear fun & stylish clothes, he takes photos and collects art, he loves his daughter, and he loves being in love.
and yet everything seems to trample that softness, whether it be the rugged masculine persona he has to uphold for respectability in NOLA, or the racism & homophobia he is regularly confronted with, or his bad marriages with lestat & armand, or his difficult relationship with claudia, or his struggle with vampirism/killing. and yes, he holds some of the blame in the marriages and much of the blame for claudia, purely because he was desperate to be loved and was willing to do shitty things to get that. and that is my point (yay we love flawed characters!) !! many of louis flaws are motivated by this inner tenderness and desire for affection.
all of these difficult things he goes through push him to act tougher, more assertive, more certain. lestat points out in ep 1 that louis conforms to all these roles that aren’t truly him. but after becoming a vampire, that never really stopped.
so post failmarriage with armand i like to imagine that yes, louis makes up with lestat, but he also finds himself again outside of the context of a romantic relationship and allows himself to be soft in the ways his circumstances haven’t allowed him or he hasn’t allowed himself before. because that’s louis’ whole thing, isn’t it? “botched vampire”. too gentle, too sensitive to be a cold killer like the others and cursed to be anyway. too soft for his own fangs.
#basically why (amc) louis is my fave iwtv character: an essay#im 90% sure this makes no sense because it is very late but im contributing my blorbo analysis to the tumblr ecosystem anyway. enjoy#fable’s stuff#iwtv#iwtv amc#interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire amc#louis de pointe du lac
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Assuming Tumblr exists in the Interview With The Vampire universe - can you imagine after the novel comes out and Lestat becomes famous - the discourse? The shipping? The gif sets and edits? - Bandom vs Book kids. The theorising. Oh my god. It's sounds both insane and glorious.
#i would reposting gif sets of Lestat on stage and then text posts of essays about the novel#id basically be doing what i do now FOR SURE#amc iwtv#iwtv s3#iwtv spoilers#lestat de lioncourt#the vampire lestat#armand#the vampire armand#daniel molloy#devils minion#louis de pointe du lac#rockstar lestat#queen of the damned#loustat
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Your recent post: https://www.tumblr.com/the-meme-monarch/743147937704689665/what-if-deltarune-beach-episode?source=share Had made me think of something. If darkeners come from objects in the real world, and taking a darkener from one dark world to another makes them turn to stone because they're incompatible, what happens when you make a dark world with a foreign darkener's object already in it? Would they be transformed into a different character? or would they then stay the same character but be compatible with the world? I'm unsure if I explained that right.
well for that post the beach was Technically An Object that they brought to castle town so it became part of it :0c i realize this may break rules of “the room is the world and objects in it are inhabitants” but well I’m pretty sure the computers/tables in the computer lab are what cyber city is. wait yeah and the trash can in the corner is the trash zone. nevermind i think a diorama becoming it’s intended setting works fine actually. ANYWAY but bc it was Brought To castle town nobody’d turn to stone :] but also my thinking for the actual question is
but them Becoming a new character based on the same object is very very interesting now that I’m remembering ralsei’s thing abt ‘the person who opened the fountain influences it’s will’ or smth like that…… like theoretically if someone opened a fountain, it got closed with all the darkners still there, and then a new person opened it, would all those darkners be the same darkners? or be New darkners from the same objects. I’m not too sure what to think abt it bc i don’t really jive with the ‘darkners histories are Backwards written’ like they didn’t exist Until the fountain was opened and then it acts like they’ve always been there. bc. the spamton sweepstakes straight up disproves that. noelle talks about responding to her spam emails and receiving a pipis in cat petterz and that was set Before ch2 happened. before ch1 happened probably. since it was yesterday
#the monarch’s court#deltarune#the art gallery#<- i suppose#i love thinking abt the logistics of the dark world :]#i have an ask somewhere where i Think someone asked how i think ralsei is able to get around and had i similar talking points as the drawig#i was like ‘ok so i have an Essay before i actually get to the point’ but i cannot find it#but i basically talk about a lot of the same stuff as in the drawing i think#plus about how ralsie is a pure dark darkner and is exempt from the turning to stone thing#the will of the fountain bit reminded me of it
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Spider-Man India, but... where from India?
A SUPER long post featuring talks of: cultural identity, characterisation, the caste system, and what makes Spider-Man Spider-Man.
I’m prefacing this by saying that I am a second-generation immigrant. I was born in Australia, but my cultural background is from South India. My experiences with what it means to be “Indian” is going to be very different from the experiences of those who are born and brought up in India.
If you, reader, want to add anything, please reblog and add your thoughts. This is meant to be a post open for discussion — the more interaction we get, the better we become aware of these nuances.
So I made this poll asking folks to pick a region of India where I would draw Pavitr Prabhakar in their cultural wear. This idea had been on my mind for a long while now, as I had been inspired by Annie Hazarika’s Northeastern Spidey artwork in the wake of ATSV’s release, but never got the time to actually do it until now. I wanted to get a little interactive and made the poll so I could have people choose which of the different regions — North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South — to do first.
The outcome was not what I expected. As you can see, out of 83 votes:
THE RESULTS
South India takes up almost half of all votes (44.6%), followed by Northeast and Central (both 14.5%) and then East (13.3%). In all my life growing up, support towards or even just the awareness of South India was pretty low. Despite this being a very contained poll, why would nearly half of all voters pick South India in favour of other popular choices like Central or North India?
Then I thought about the layout of the poll: Title, Options, Context.
Title: "Tell us who you want to see…"
Options: North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South
Context: I want to make art of the boy again
At first I thought: ah geez. this is my fault. I didn't make the poll clear enough. do they think I want them to figure out where Pavitr came from? That's not what I wanted, maybe I should have added the context before the options.
Then I thought: ah geez. is it my fault for people not reading the entire damn thing before clicking a button? That's pretty stupid.
But regardless, the thought did prompt a line of thinking I know many of us desi folk have been considering since Spider-Man India was first conceived — or, at least, since the announcement that he was going to appear in ATSV. Hell, even I thought of it:
Where did Spider-Man India come from?
FROM A CULTURALLY DIVERSE INDIA
As we know, India is so culturally diverse, and no doubt ATSV creators had to take that into account. Because the ORIGINAL Spider-Man India came from Mumbai — most likely because Mumbai and Manhattan both started with the same letter.
But going beyond that, it’s also because Mumbai is one of the most recognisable cities in India - it’s also known as Bombay. It’s where Bollywood films are shot. It’s where superstar Hindi actors and actresses show up. Mumbai is synonymous with India in that regard, because the easiest way Western countries can interact with Indian culture is through BOLLYWOOD, through HINDI FILMS, through MUMBAI. Suddenly, India is Mumbai, India is a Hindi-only country, India is just this isolated thing we see through an infinitely narrow lens.
We’ve gotten a little better in recent years, but boy I will tell you how uncomfortable I’ve gotten when people (yes, even desi people) come up to me and tell me, Oh, you’re Indian right? Can you speak Hindi? Why don’t you speak Hindi? You’re not Indian if you don’t speak Hindi, that’s India’s national language!
I have been — still am — so afraid of telling people that I don’t speak Hindi, that I’m Tamil, that I don’t care that Hindi is India’s “national” language (it’s an administrative language, Kavin, get your fucking facts right). It’s weird, it’s isolating, and it has made me feel like I wasn’t “Indian” enough to be accepted into the group of “Indian” people.
So I am thankful that ATSV went out of their way to integrate as much variety of Indian culture into the Mumbattan sequence. Maybe that way, the younger generation of desi folk won’t feel so isolated, and that younger Western people will be more open to learning about all these cultural differences within such a vast country.
BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SPIDER-MAN INDIA?
Everything, actually. There’s a thing called supremacy. You might have heard of it. We all engaged with it at some point, and if you are Indian, no matter where you live, it is inescapable.
It happens the moment you are born — who your family is, where you are born, the language you speak, the colour of your skin; these will be bound to you for life, and it is nigh impossible to break down the stereotypes associated with them.
Certain ethnic groups will be more favourable than others (Centrals, and thus their cultures, will always be favoured over than Souths, as an example) and the same can be said for social groups (Brahmins are more likely to secure influential roles in politics or other areas like priesthood, while the lowers castes, especially Dalits, aren’t even given the decency of respect). Don’t even get me started on colourism, where obviously those of fairer skin will win the lottery while those of darker skin aren’t given the time of day. It’s even worse when morality ties into it — “lighter skinned Indians, like Brahmins, embody good qualities like justice and wisdom”, “dark skinned Indians are cunning and poor, they are untrustworthy”. It’s fucking nuts.
This means, of course, you have a billion people trying to make themselves heard in a system that tries to crush everyone who is not privileged. It only makes sense that people want to elevate themselves and break free from a society that refuses to acknowledge them. These frustrations manifest outwardly, like in protests, but other times — most times — it goes unheard, quietly shaping your way of life, your way of thinking. It becomes a fundamental part of you, and it can go unacknowledged for generations.
So when you have a character like Pavitr Prabhakar enter the scene, people immediately latch onto him and start asking questions many Western audiences don’t even consider. Who is he? What food does he eat? What does he do on Fridays? What’s his family like, his community? All these questions pop up, because, amidst all this turmoil going on in the background, you want a mainstream popular character to be like you, who knows your way of life so intimately, that he may as well be a part of your community.
BUT THAT'S THE THING — HE'S FICTIONAL
I am guilty of this. In fact, I’ve flaunted in numerous posts how I think he’s the perfect Tamil boy, how he dances bharatanatyam, how he does all these Tamil things that no one will understand except myself. All these niche things that only I, and maybe a few others, will understand.
I’ve seen other people do it, too. I’ve seen people geek out over his dark brown skin, his kalari dhoti, how he fights so effortlessly in the kalaripayattu martial arts style. I’ve seen people write him as Malayali, as Hindi, as every kind of Indian person imaginable.
I’ve also seen him be written where he’s subjected to typical Indian and broader Asian stereotypes. You know the ones I’m so fond of calling out. The thing is, I’ve seen so much of Pavitr being presented in so many different ways, and I worry how the rest of the desi folk will take it.
You finally have a character who could be you, but now he’s someone else’s plaything. Your entire life is shaped by what you can and can’t do simply because you were born to an Indian family, and here’s the one person who could represent you now at the mercy of someone else’s whims. He’s off living a life that is so distant from yours, you can hardly recognise him.
It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, yeah? But, again, you’re looking at it from that infinitely narrow lens Westerners use to look at India from Bollywood.
AND PAVITR PRABHAKAR DOESN'T LIVE IN INDIA
He lives in Mumbattan. He lives in a made-up, fictional world that doesn’t follow the way of life of our world. He lives in a city where Mumbai and Manhattan got fucking squashed together. There are so many memes about colonialism right there. Mumbattan isn’t real! Spider-Man India isn’t real!! He’s just a dude!! The logic of our world doesn’t apply to him!!!
“But his surname originates from ______” okay but does that matter?
“But he’s wearing a kalari dhoti so surely he’s ______” okay but does that matter?
“But his skin colour is darker so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?
“But he lives in Mumbai so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?
I sound insensitive and brash and annoying and it looks like I’m yapping just for the sake of riling you up, so direct that little burst of anger you got there at me, and keep reading.
Listen. I’m going to ask you a question that I’ve asked myself a million times over. I want you to answer honestly. I want you to ask this question to yourself and answer honestly:
Are you trying to convince me on who Pavitr Prabhakar should be?
... but why shouldn't i?
I’ll tell you this again — I did the same thing. You’re not at fault for this, but I want you to just...have a little think over. Just a little moment of self-reflection, to think about why you are so intent on boxing this guy.
It took me a while to reorganise my thinking and how to best approach a character like Pavitr, so I will give you all the time you need as well as a little springboard to focus your thoughts on.
SPIDER-MAN (INDIA) IS JUST A MASK
“What I like about the costume is that anybody reading Spider-Man in any part of the world can imagine that they themselves are under the costume. And that’s a good thing.”
Stan Lee said that. Remember how he was so intent on making sure that everybody got the idea that Spider-Man as an entity is fundamentally broken without Peter Parker there to put on the suit and save the day? That ultimately it was the person beneath the mask, no matter who they were, that mattered most?
Spider-Man India is no less different. You can argue with me that Peter Parker!Spidey is supposed to represent working class struggles in the face of leering corporate entities who endanger the regular folk like us, and so Pavitr Prabhakar should also function the same way. Pavitr should also be a working class guy of this specific social standing fighting people of this other social standing.
But that takes away the authenticity of Spider-Man India. Looking at him through the Peter Parker lens forces you to look at him through the Western lens, and it significantly lessens what you can do with the character — suddenly, it’s a fight to be heard, to be seen, to be recognised. It’s yelling over each other that Pavitr Prabhakar is this ethnicity, is that caste, this or that, this or that, this or that.
There’s a reason why he’s called Spider-Man India, infuriatingly vague as it is. And that’s the point — the vagueness of his identity fulfils Lee’s purpose for a character that could theoretically be embodied by anyone. If he had been called “Spider-Man Mumbai”, you cut out a majority of the population (and in capitalist terms, you cut out a good chunk of the market).
And in the case of Spider-Man India? Whew — you’ve got about a billion people imagining a billion different versions of him.
Whoever you are, whatever you see in Pavitr, that is what is personal to you, and there is nothing wrong with that, and I will not fault you for it. I will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from Central due to the origins of his last name. I also will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from South due to him practising kalaripayattu. I also will not fault you for saying he is not Hindu. I also will not fault you for saying he is a particular ethnicity without any proof.
What I will fault you for is trying to convince me and the others around you that Pavitr Prabhakar should be this particular ethnicity/have this cultural background because of some specific reason. I literally don’t care and it is fundamentally going against his character, going against the “anyone can wear the mask” sentiment of Spider-Man. By doing this, you are strengthening the walls that first divided us. You’re feeding the stratification and segmentation of our cultures — something that is actually not present in the fictional world of Mumbattan.
Like I said before: Mumbattan isn’t real, so the divides between ethnicities and cultural backgrounds are practically nonexistent. The best thing is that it is visually there for all to see. My favourite piece of evidence is this:
It’s a marquee for a cinema in the Mumbattan sequence, in the “Quick tour: this is where the traffic is” section. It has four titles; the first two are written in Hindi. The third title is written in Bengali*, and the fourth title is written in Tamil. You go to Mumbai and you won’t see a single shred of Bengali nor Tamil there, much less any other language that's not common in Maharashtra (Western India). Seeing this for the first time, you know what went through my head?
Wow, the numerous cultures of India are so intermingled here in Mumbattan! Everyone and everything is welcome!
I was happy, not just because of Tamil representation, but because of the fact that the plethora of Indian cultures are showcased coexisting in such a short sequence. This is India embracing all the little parts that make up its grander identity. This scene literally opened my eyes seeing such beauty in all the diverse cultures thriving together. In a place where language and cultural backgrounds blend so easily, each one complementing one another.
It is so easy to believe that, from this colourful palette of a setting, Pavitr Prabhakar truly is Spider-Man India, no matter where he comes from.
It’s easy to believe that Pavitr can come from any part of India, and I won’t call you out if the origin you have for him is different from the origin I have. You don’t need to stake out territory and stand your ground — you’re entitled to that opinion, and I respect it. In fact, I encourage it!!!
Because there’s only so much you can show in a ten minute segment of a film about a country that has such a vast history and even greater number of cultures. I want to see all of it — I want him to be a Malayali boy, a Hindi boy, a Bengali boy, a Telugu boy, an Urdu boy, whatever!! I want you to write him or draw him immersed in your culture, so that I can see the beauty of your background, the wonderful little things that make your culture unique and different from mine!
And, as many friends have said, it’s so common for Indian folks to be migrating around within our own country. A person with a Maharashtrian surname might end up living in Punjab, and no one really minds that. I’m actually from Karnataka, my family speaks Kannada, but somewhere down the line my ancestors moved to Tamil Nadu and settled down and lived very fulfilling lives. So I don’t actually have the “pure Tamil” upbringing, contrary to popular belief; I’ve gotten a mix of both Kannada and Tamil lifestyles, and it’s made my life that much richer.
So it’s common for people to “not” look like their surname, if that’s what you’re really afraid about. In fact, it just adds to that layer of nuance, that even despite these rigid identities between ethnicities we as Indian people still intermingle with one another, bringing slivers of our cultures to share with others. Pavitr could just as well have been born in one state and moved around the country, and he happens to live in Mumbattan now. It’s entirely possible and there’s nothing to disprove that.
We don’t need to clamber over one another declaring that only one ethnicity is the “right” ethnicity, because, again, you will be looking at Pavitr and the rest of India in that narrow Western lens — a country with such rich cultural variety reduced to a homogenous restrictive way of life.
THE POLL: REINTERPRETED
This whole thing started because I was wondering why my little poll was so skewed — I thought people assumed I was asking them where he came from, then paired his physical appearance with the most logical options available. I thought it was my fault, that I had somehow influenced this outcome without knowing.
Truth is, I will never really know. But I will be thankful for it, because it gave me the opportunity to finally broach this topic, something that many of us desi folk are hesitant to talk about. I hope you have learned something from this, whether you are desi or a casual Spider-Man fan or someone who just so happened to stumble upon this.
So just…be a little more open. Recognise that India, like many many countries and nations, is made up of a plethora of smaller cultures. And remember, if you’re trying to convince Pavitr that he’s a particular ethnicity, he’s going to wave his hand at you and say, “Ha, me? No, I’m one of the people that live here in the best Indian city! I’m Spider-Man India, dost!”
(Regardless, he still considers you a friend, because to him, the people matter more to him than you trying to box him into something he’s not.)
*Note: thank you dear anon for letting me know that the third title was Bengali, twas my mistake for literally completely forgetting
#long post + more tags that kinda spiral away BUT expand on the points above AND kinda puts everything together concisely#BROS THIS IS AN HONEST TO GOD ESSAY#THAT HAS BEEN COOKING IN MY HEART FOR A WHILE NOW. SIMMERING FOR MONTHS BEFORE FINALLY BOILING OVER IN THE LAST WEEK#genuinely hope you read MOST of it because yes it has Quite A Lot Of Exposition but it all matters nonetheless#put in a lot of thought into this so i expect you to do your part and challenge your thoughts as well#you see how i'm not asking for you to listen to me. but to actually Think. i want you to cook your thoughts and add some spice and flavour#and give it a good mix so you can come out of this a little more wiser than before#because!!! yeah!!!! spider man india is just that!! he's indian!!!!! we don't need to collectively agree on where he comes from#bc it gets rid of that relatability factor of spider man. at the most basic level#think of it as a schrodinger's. he is every single culture and none of them at the same time. therefore none of us are wrong!! sick!!!!#pavitr's first priority is making sure HIS PEOPLE are safe. that's probably as far as we can go that relates him back to peter parker spide#he loves his people and working in the name of justice to FIGHT for HIS PEOPLE is just the duty/responsibility he takes up#it makes sense that he loves everyone and every culture he engages with bc that's the nature of spider man i suppose#if peter parker spidey acts as the guardian for the regular folk.. then in my mind pavitr spidey stands as the bridge uniting the people#because society as its core is very fragmented. and having pavitr act as a connection to other folks.... mmmmm beautiful#that's what i'm talking abouttttt !!!#anyways guys this is literally 3001 words on my document EXCLUDING THE TITLE. THAT'S 7 PAGES AT 11pt FONT. i'm literally cryingggg wtf#pavitr prabhakar#spider man#spider man india#desi#desiblr#atsv#across the spiderverse#atsv pavitr#indian culture#india#desi tumblr#what the fuck do i tag this as#agnirambles
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How Does it Feel to Read Classic Sci-Fi?
Orson Scott Card: Two of the most interesting books you’ll ever read if you’re willing to look past a handful of things. And then you find the planet of Chinese people who worship having debilitating OCD. And the Mormonism. And the fact that the author is wildly homophobic and ought to read his own books.
Robert Heinlein (or at least the Wikipedia Summaries): I guess that’s a neat concept—oh, it’s a sex thing. Um. Gotcha.
Ray Bradbury: Man, I gotta read this thing for class huh. Well here’s hoping it’s good! *three hours later* oh. that’s why he’s famous. this will stick with me forever and I will never look at the phrase ‘soft rain’ the same again. christ. And then repeat 3x.
Isaac Asimov: Wow, this is such an interesting concept! I wonder how the exploration of it will influence the plot! Wait, hey, are you going to add any characters? Any of em? No like, with character traits other than ‘robot psychologist’ and ‘autistic’ and ‘woman’? None of em? No, ‘detective’ isn’t a character trait. Those are all just facts. Aaaand now I’m bored.
Ursula K. Le Guin: Hah, get a load of this guy! He’s never heard of nonbinary people before. Lol, what a riot; how dumb do you have to be to comprehend that these people aren’t men *or* women actually? Oh, wait, what’s happening. Oh shit, it was about society and love and learning to understand each other? And now I’m crying? And perhaps a better human being for it??
Andy Weir: Alright, this guy’s a really good writer. Funny, creative, knows so much engineering stuff…ooh, a new book! …I guess he can’t write women. Well, he wouldn’t be the first sci-fi writer…ooh another new book! And it’s more engineering problem solving and—wow. It’s not just women he can’t write. Please stop letting your characters talk to each other.
Lois Lowry: Oh, I remember this being fun when I was a kid! Wouldn’t it be fucked up to not see color? …upon reread, it would be fucked up to have your humanity stripped away, replaced with a tepid, beige ‘happiness’ for all time. Yeah.
Tamsyn Muir (let me have this ok): Haha, “lesbian necromancers in space” sounds fun. Lemme read this. Oh wow, yeah, this is right up my alley. OH GOD WHAT. NO. FUCK. OH SHIT WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING AND WHY IS IT REFERENCING THE BOOK OF RUTH AND HOMESTUCK BACK TO BACK!!! AHHHHHHHHH!! Now give me more please.
#Late night book reviews with Bluejay#Not really#and it’s 1pm#If you’re curious which books#or just wanna read another essay:#Card: Ender’s Game and Speaker for the Dead are good* and the rest is Fucking Bonkers. Xenocide is the one called out specifically#Heinlein: Stranger in a Strange Land’s Wikipedia page but my understanding is it’s not the only book Like That#Bradbury: short story “There Will Come Soft Rains” will fuck your up; double if you check out the comic. See also “All Summer…” and °F 451#Asimov: I; Robot is the specific ref but also its sequel novels where you’d more expect real characters and not just fact lists also#Le Guin: Left Hand of Darkness specifically but also I just love her lmao#Weir: The Martian then Artemis then Project Hail Mary#Lowry: the only stuff of her’s I’ve read is The Giver Quartet but I was shocked how good it was upon revisiting. Damn. That’s pointed.#Muir: Gideon the Ninth and its sequels. They’re so good. Read them. You will be confused by book two. That’s on purpose. They’re so good.#Yes don’t come at me for my tag formatting; 140 chars isn’t a lot. You try getting all three Bradbury titles in there#Also the lack of commas is an issue#Anyways I would rec basically all of these if you like sci-fi save for SiaSL (haven’t read it) and all of the Ender’s Game/SftD spinoffs#Also if you do wanna read Card’s work pls get the books 2nd hand or from a library. Or via the 7 seas. His money goes to homophobia :(#But most of em are good and all of em are classics for a reason (save for Muir who really should be lmao)#Also also don’t come at me for including Weir; he’s one of the most popular sci-fi authors AND came up in the discussion that prompted this#As did everyone else except Muir because that one is actually just self indulgent.#I worked so hard to tag the first few things such that it would be clear there was an essay beneath the tag cut#Anyways tags for like actual categorization n such:#orson scott card#robert heinlein#ray bradbury#isaac asimov#ursula k. le guin#andy weir#lois lowry#tamsyn muir
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Something I've kind of noticed about a lot of the academic scholarship I've read about Frankenstein / Dracula / Jekyll & Hyde is that everyone just seems to completely dismiss/ignore the characters as actual characters most of the time unless they're the Main Guys. Like, they'll go really in depth about Victor or the Creature's motivations and backstory and spend ages talking about Jekyll's relationship to Hyde and stuff, but the second it comes to characters like Enfield and Elizabeth or Lanyon and Clerval or frankly the Entire Rest of the Cast of Dracula, they just immediately seem uninterested. They'll just sort of vaguely gesture in their direction and go 'Oh yeah X and X thing happens to this character and here's a one sentence summary of their personality which doesn't really matter because this entire cast is interchangeable, anyway, onto the next theme' and half the time their One Sentence is just textually incorrect (looking at the New Woman/Traditional Woman descriptions of Lucy and Mina). And the reason I find this so baffling is because with other analysis I've read (e.g. Great Gatsby stuff) people seem to actually slow down and consider the characterisation and motivations of the cast as a whole with like. Nuance. Like they sit down and treat the characters as multifaceted and complex and having actual relationships with one another, and then you get to these books specifically and no one seems to care? Like they'll go really in depth with various interpretations and historical context for the Big Guys, and then never apply the same sort of examination to anyone else, and if they do, very rarely and probably only for one other character e.g. (Utterson or Mina).
If I had to posit an explanation, I would say its a combination of the archetypal nature of the title characters and the admittedly patchy writing of these books (which arguably lends to their archetypal status). I think academics kind of assume that the primary draw of these books are The Big Guys and the expansive themes and ideas they cover and that everyone else is just a pawn there to enable the narrative around the Big Guys, and the propensity for film adaptations to scrap or rewrite characters probably compounded this impression. And while I think this is at least partly true, the thing is, these characters were not always archetypal Big Guys. They originated in stories alongside *these* other characters *specifically* and it is worth asking what it is about the rest of the cast that makes the story interesting as well. Because, let's be real, if there was approximately no interest in the fucking *narrators* of Dracula, the best friends of Henry Jekyll, or the victims of the Creature, the original readers would have been completely bored out of their minds for most of these novels and public interest in them would not have been as great as it was. All of these novels were stories before they were myths, and academics should not be letting pop culture eclipse them unless they're specifically talking about the relationship between the two.
Overall, I just feel like academics are not only shooting themselves in the foot, but also doing a disservice to these stories by not bothering to investigate the other characters because frankly. It's lazy. It's lazy to dismiss an entire cast and basically skim read any sections involving them just because it's easy to focus on The One Guy. If you people really cared about themes, you'd understand that characters are inextricable from them. Like shit dude I see more care given to characters in essays about Greek tragedies, you guys are waaaay fucking behind
#also when they make character statements it's almost always about external qualities rather than internal thoughts#like in other academic literature i've read people will discusd characters narrative roles#but they'll also point at them and say 'this is x's fatal flaw' or 'y saying this reveals z about their motivations and beliefs'#basically they take a second to view things from a more watsonian perspective alongside doylist analysis#with these books it's just all doylist all the time. it's just 'author wrote U character this way because they were trying to say Q'.#and it gets quite dull. and its also quite presumptuous most of the time because like. You Don't Know Them.#Like yeah they could've been trying to say something or they could have been trying to ingratiate the audience to the character#these aren't essays guys. they're novels.#anyway rant over feel to free to tell me i'm stupid and wrong#dracula#frankenstein or the modern prometheus#dracula novel#strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde#gothic literature
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more panels circa miharu arc i couldnt stop thinking about and love of him being So Tiny vs. these MASSIVE yokai which paints such a brutally gorgeous picture (figuratively and literally) of the size of responsibility on his shoulders especially in the context of this specific arc or something!!!
#i also get v incoherent about his...gentleness(?) for lack of a better word on the right and sure ofc he has to do it as part of the ritual#and he's effectively in disguise from the yokai cosplaying as a miharu but its such a nice contrast to the#outright brutality affiliated with the matoba name and that we saw from him in the early arcs#and [OVERTHINKING IT PROBABLY] can be seen as a shift in the character progression maybeee#in tandem with midorikawa's real time matoba seiji uwu babygirlification!!!#ok this is where my tag-essay devolves--time to go to bed mirai#natsume problems#horrible exorcist number one#at this point half my blog has basically become the matoba's book of enemies remix and i guess i'm cool with that
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Dave and Steven's relationship is so fucking mental literally THE toxicest of yaois 💥
#luly talks#like literally everything about them is insane. fact that dave says steven is of the few people who treated him like a human yet is willing#to just fuck him over and like basically kill him#fact that steven refuses to give purps to the authorities even when he knows he's the criminal and that he WILL keep killing#like its so funny bc usually its dave the one who refuses to leave a situation but this time its phoney whom has him leashed#and its mental cuz WHY I DONT GET IT#and he even lets him do fuck all too remember my post pointing out how this is the only place where dave steals from the prize corner?#when i replay dsaf 1 and the good ending from 3 imma write my essay on steven and their relationship#(<- empty promise bc im a lazy ass)#but seriously steven is such a speciment he's as toxic as it gets in every way possible#not even outright evil just. he's all fucked up man#like he had so many chances to do things right but he only did wrong again and again#also do you guys think dave knows he's steven?#i dont actually remember if there's mention of this on the flipside#and. do you guys think steven REMEMBERS dave?#he's a gen 2 according to himself i guess so he probably has some vague memory#i like to think that's why he's so... favorable to him#LIKE THAT'S THE THING EVEN IN THAT WAY HE'S SO MEAN TO HIM#but not as mean as he is to jack whom he regurlarly kills over nothing#jack and all thef ucking other employees he literally implies bad employees dont last
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Seraphina’s Nightmare
A dream sequence looking at Seraphina’s headspace after the season 1 finale.
There is no audio, it’s not broken.
I made this for a project in my film class because I simply couldn’t think about anything other than UnOrdinary. It was going to be about twice this length but I ran out of time before my deadline.
#unordinary#seraphina unordinary#My project was the best in the class#everyone else just had a slideshow#except for one guy who wrote an essay#i mean#i had a slideshow too#but this was on the second slide so yk#first slide is just a title slide that I doodled flowers on#I had that slide up while I was presenting because my class needed some context#basically: “This is Seraphina and she just found out her best friend John was lying to her about something major.”#Then the rest of the slides were just explaining choices I made and why.#But there was no text at all#just pictures#the explaining is done by me out loud#No point in putting text on a slide when I’m gonna go up and speak#I just need pictures to point at#This was animated at 5 fps lolol#but most frames are held for way longer#I sent it to my mom and she was very shocked to find out that Sera’s hair extensions aren’t her real hair#like gurl you read the series how did you not know this#animation#Drawing in my diary again
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Is the video game really subverting its genre? Are you sure it's not just doing clever things within its genre, because otherwise the game would be boring and unchallenging and say nothing interesting? I'm just saying, it's cool and all that the internet allows horror game fandoms to overflow into eachother, but not EVERY 2 hour video essay needs to be spent breathlessly sucking off the devs. Sometimes a game is just REGULAR difficult and REGULAR high-quality.
Besides RPGs made over a decade ago, what is the thing supposedly subverting? Clearly not other contemporary indie horror games, because there is clearly a convergent ethos forming of cosmic horror and beginners' traps; that's just what the genre looks like nowadays.
#pathologic#fear and hunger#inscryption#in general I just hate overly reverent video essays; you guys ruined Airbender for me#this is NOT me hating on Pathologic!#Icepick is a good studio; their story is interesting their characters are well written#introducing needs decay mechanics into a first-person adventure game is a good idea; I just wouldn't call it “subversive”#this IS me hating a little bit on Patho fans just because I think hyperbole about the game's difficulty is tedious#and distracts from an equally valid conversation about what you get if you approach the game like a sandbox#I get it the algorithm incentivizes youtubers to talk about every new game like it's a complete departure from what came before#but if everything is special nothing is#and i swear if one more person tries to read me HP Lovecraft's wikipedia page like i was born yesterday im going to scream#Just saying; if fucking with the player's expectations is all it takes to be “subversive” then Stick of Truth is “subverting its genre”#except... no... Stick of Truth is a bog standard RPG just with a quirky tutorial#and creative integration of its off-beat story and mechanics RIGHT??#my point is Patho and F&H aren't actually much different; they still play like RPGs still handle like RPGs#the fact that you die more than you would in COD or Skyrim or whatever doesn't make it the “anti-RPG”#anymore than Seinfeld was the “anti-sitcom”#“subversiveness” is just a basic bitch way to analyze things; and I think “How does the art take ADVANTAGE of its genre?” is better#media criticism
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Oooh tell me about Obyron/Zahndrekh for the wip asks pls pls pls I crave more of the old married couple 🙏
Ahaha well, they're not quite married in this one. I talked a bit about how I'm trying to characterize Zahndrekh over here; if anything, Zahndrekh probably spends a not-insignificant part of the story in the background wanting to propose marriage to Setekh...which, thankfully, he does not do.
I will freely admit that I feel wildly out of my depth with this story! The first part needs to hit a bunch of key moments at Yama (battles! feasts! assassination attempts!), and I've probably bitten off more than I can chew. My track record with even mildly ambitious projects is terrible. (And please understand that my idea of an 'ambitious project' is like. 10k words and more than 3 chapters. Or a series with more than 2 parts.)
The second part, however, is really just porn, and apart from one reference to a specific scene in part 1, it can probably stand on its own. So, if nothing else, I will hopefully be able to finish that, and everyone can just use their imagination when it comes to the stuff that is beyond my ability to write/finish.
Anyway. Here's a snippet from part 2, right before clothes start hitting the floor.
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“My lord- I shouldn't-” he swallowed. He didn't want to leave. He had to leave- he'd already committed at least three unforgivable breaches of decorum simply by standing here. Whatever happened next- and he could imagine with aching clarity what was going to happen next- would be a step too far. “Please permit me to return to the quartermaster.”
Zahndrekh looked up, and their eyes met for a brief moment before Obyron lowered his gaze again. Zahndrekh's hand was still on his collar.
“Permission granted,” Zahndrekh said softly. “If you must go, then…so be it. You may go, and I won't ask this of you again.” The palm of his hand was soft and warm against Obyron's cheek, and the sudden contact made both of them startle, slightly. “Whatever you decide, nothing will change, I swear it.”
That was lie, he knew, but Obyron found he appreciated it all the same. “My lord.” He was being offered a choice. It was too much, with Zahndrekh standing so close and his hand on Obyron's face. “Please…order me to stay.”
Zahndrekh's voice was uncharacteristically rough. “Stay with me, Obyron.”
He met Zahndrekh's eyes again, and now he could see the way his nemesor's face was flushed slightly, and the way his eyes were wide and his pupils were dilated. It was never a choice, not really; there was no universe where Obyron would have walked away from Zahndrekh like this.
But it was easier to have an order to follow, regardless. “Yes, my lord.”
#nattering#my fic#obyron/zahndrekh#necrons#warhams#snecrons#so anyway i think about how zahndrekh spends most of Severed in a panic about obyron leaving him#and yet *still* corrects him reflexively on the use of his title when addressing him#basically all the time. these thoughts haunt me.#but we're not going to unpack *any* of that here we're just going to have filthy smut where zahndrekh tops obyron into a puddle#...literally. there's a lot of...fluids...in this one.#i've written enough snecron essays at this point i ought to actually make use of all of that#maybe twelve power point slides and a diagram will just be my snecron tag from now on *sigh*
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